Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
