we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize