At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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