Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize