wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
