Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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