apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
