Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
