i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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