I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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