good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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