one might say we're banned from that church
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
