are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
