he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
