I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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