You smell like stripper and shame
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
