ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
