i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
