covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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