You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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