some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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