Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
