Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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