In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
