i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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