do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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