i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
