i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
