her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
