haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
