Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
