I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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