It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
