He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
