The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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