one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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