You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
