Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love having hate sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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