so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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