why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
