I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
