people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
