Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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