Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
