butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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