but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
