If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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