look no pants
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Houston, we have a blender
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
