Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize