Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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