You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
