i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
