i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
