Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Less talking, more tequila
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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