In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
