have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
