I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
