come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
