Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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