...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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