Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
