I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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